yeah its my favorite place ever xD completely my online home. and aww shuckkss thanks ;P i just like to give.

i kind of asked her and she didnt answer me xD but we were talking about something else too so i think she got caught up in that. womp. but yeah leahana is so awesome. shes a great writer ;^^ and she bounces ideas off imagii and hyde and sometimes mods so the lore is not just her vision. i cant wait till we have like a page dedicated to it. cause my memory is terrible and i have to like search for archived posts to remember the lore xD

yeah dont feel bad or guilty. as long as you are honest and you dont use your illness as an excuse but as a legit reason, you will be fine if you want to be on staff again. i know she can be really intimidating ! but she is my friend and i can absolutely vouch for her on this subject. she has to be intimidating to run a site and manage all her staff and everything on top of working 50 hours a week at her job. yeah anytime xD i have nothing but good experiences, even when i was struggling and 'demoted'. plenty of people applied to be a mod - they didnt have to take me.

haha whats the point then xD like if its for nothing special... cause i mean like, last halloween dragon cave had this minesweeper like game. and it was so fun xD and it didnt really give you anything but it was nice to play anyways. well, they had this 'disease' thing that would appear on random dragons and when you played the game and won you could help the contagion spread or you could help cure it. but it all disappeared after the event was over anyways but i see how 'event' games dont have to give you currency or prizes but permanent games on sites its like.. why xD

yeah dude its the best. and i really like to talk on forums it is the most ideal form of communication for me. xD discord is nice too but people expect a reply. forums its like ?? who knows when this person will reply?? i can read stuff people wrote me in my charity and reply 2 or 3 days later if thats when i feel able to do that. and sometimes im okay with hanging out and posting back and forth for hours. but sometimes i cant. and thats all okay on a forum. ITS THE BEST xD i totally recommend to everyone. but esp people with mental illness. forums are so versatile as a form of communication.

right now i dont feel like i can reply to so many people in my charity on cae so im not going to xD but i am chill with just replying to you here so thats what ima do. ;P im really glad that you are back and i hope you stay longer !! hahaa. but if you ever have to peace out for awhile thats okay too. i understand. i mean look. you can come back months after posting with me. we barely talked during that time. im not upset at you? im just happy to have you be a part of my life again. when you become good friends with someone, you have a close bond that time cant break. i obviously cant speak for other people, but most people i know on caedon feel the same as me on that subject. if you have to be away for awhile thats okay. i myself was awol for almost two months on caedon. and i came back to soooo many open arms. i had a friend visit me last week that i hadnt seen or talked to in over a year. since i lived in the city. and they had to drive an hour one way just to come see me. time cant erase friendship. i know that you cant always help how you feel, especially with the anxiety stuff. i know when you have been away your mind tells you that people are upset at you and will be mad that you left for so long, or whatever it was that you feel (i cant remember details i am sorry) but just try to tell yourself there is no proof of that. the proof is that you are a dear friend to me and you will remain that even if i barely talked to you for half a year.

Honestly I can't wait for there to be a lore page! I want to be able to peruse all the details and make avis accordingly! >w< And maybe even create ocs and make some fanfics! Her ideas are so good!

And I agree. Events are a little different but... I feel like if a game doesn't add something to the site, it shouldn't be there? *shrugs*

Yes!! That's why I love forums, too... they just make communicating fun because you don't have to worry about all the usual stresses of other communications. Also I like that you can formulate responses without having a fat-moving chat where you get cut off.

I needed to hear this so bad! ;^; I missed you sooo so much! I plan on staying for a while this time. I think I finally have what you said stuck in my brain. Plus I've missed the support system. And the fun. And just chatting with you about random stuff all the time. And playing oj. xD *hugs tightly and never lets go* ♥♥♥

edit: lol sorry im writing novels ive started doing that a lot recently ooopsss i get carried away !!

RIGHT !! im so excited. and there will be stuff about the nations and everything toooo. im so pumped. idk when it will exist but prolly not till the beta site comes around. imagii has hired a few more developers tho because she really wants to crank out the new site. they are writing the code from scratch because the code of the site rn is basically super broken xD but they are getting stuff done much quicker now ! theres no for sure date of the release but they are trying to finish it as soon as they can. but yeah she has really great ideas !! and npcs. man i love so many of our npcs. and im so excited about one !! but im not allowed to talk about it yet so i wont say more xD

yeah thats how i feel haha. games on sites like that should have a purpose.

ya i feeeel that so hard hahaa. forums are my jammm. its so chill. another thing i really like is having signatures.. nobody can ever mess up my pronouns. i mean they could but it rarely happens on forums xD because its RIGHT THERE. im in this discord group for this up and coming avatar/pet forum site called dappervolk. and the people there are really awesome and they are respectful about gender stuff but they just forget. because i cant put my pronouns anywhere? and i voice chat with them so they just dont remember because i sound a little feminine. and i am never mad AT them its just frustrating because i dont have that problem in my normal mode of communication xD and i dont really like when people use the wrong pronouns, even if im not upset at them its just.. its just something i dont like to deal with lol

so there are just like piles of PROS about forums. the only con i can think of is you cant voice chat but thats what discord is for xD i made a group on discord just for cards against humanity on caedon because its more fun to voice chat while playing with people lol. other people might think a con would be that you have to talk to everyone because you cant easily ignore people? but i dont have that problem because i like to talk to everyone ! and the only person i dont want to talk to avoids me ! lol or i guess some people dont like that its so PUBLIC like anybody can see it but yeah that doesnt bother me at all. we got a journals sub forum finally ! and im superrr personal in there haha idgaf if anyone reads it . so really there are basically no cons in my mind

yeah dude always glad to help. i know that sometimes no matter what i say your anxiety still has the power to ignore it. but i hope i can help you fight back against it even just a little. cause its totallllly wrong. but if it does take over, and i dont see you for awhile, thats okay too. when i low key tried to kill myself again a bit ago i didnt talk to anyone for awhile. well except staff to do my cae work but other than that it was nothinggg. i know its different than how you feel but its like. when all i can think about is killing myself i cant really be a very good friend to anyone and its not good if i try to talk to people. xD im just like supperr depressing and i dont want to do that to my friends so i just stay away. then these past few weeks i have had these really weird bouts of anger. and i cant talk to anybody then either because im afraid i will lash out. i am not used to being angry and i cant control it so i dont know what to do. one of my friends kept messaging me one day and i had to tell him to stop because i was really really angry and i didnt want to be mad at him. but i WAS mad at him i was so fucking annoyed that he kept messaging me in the first place. which is like.. not something i normally get mad about? so ive been rly weirdddd lately but people understand when i need time and space. then i come back every time that happens and its all good we just pick back up where we left off. so i know from experience thats how it works hahaa

but im gonna stop rambling now womp. yeah i have missed you so much too it is nice to have a support system and you have my total support yo. yes we def gotta play oj at some point. they got a lot of updates and some more dlc which ofc i bought LOL. but yes we can hug forever and it will be all good

Ahhhh I knowww I want to know more about the npcs! They are so well done and asdfghjkl I love them! I won't push you cuz I know you can't talk about it (And yay surprises!) But now I'm extra excited! I can't wait to just read about everything and get really obsessed with it all lol. Make a character for each nation just for fun... hrrrrr. Tbh that's great she got more coders... I think that's probably the thing slowing her down the most is that the coding takes so long. (Which makes sense... coding is ridic)

Dappervolk has a discord? Cool! I follow them on my instagram. It looks so coool! But yes, I know what you mean. Signatures are a great way to relay something like that easily. Makes it easier on people when they don't have to worry about telling everyone again and again. *hugs*

Honestly those don't seem like much of cons to me. xD And I can't think of any other cons. I don't care for voice chat unless it's with close friends, which always ends up fine because someone always gets discord or something and we hang out. And I actually like the public/speak to everyone aspect of it. It think it's great to be able to have outside sources ring in their two cents about a problem, or give feedback. And if there's someone you don't want to talk to... just don't? It's not hard really. xD But I'm like you, I prefer talking to everyone in the thread, because it's more fun! (Though sometimes I feel bad when I have no idea what to say to one person and I'm responding to other people, because I don't want someone to think I missed them!)

*tight hugs* Yeah my anxiety is dumb, but I think I'm starting to understand how to fight it better? Like, I recognize support systems and help better now. I do have a story I'd like to share with you on discord some time though... that was a bad time. <_< Also I'm so glad you're still here. I would cry if I came back and you were gone. But I understand... we've talked about that stuff after all. *smothers you in love and kisses and hugs and glitter* I feel you about the anger thing though. Which, if you need to talk to someone but you're in that kind of a mood, feel free to rant at me or bite off my head. I've been in that situation where I distance myself because I'm livid and if anyone talks to me I'll just snap at them... and it's not fun. But yes thanks for sharing your experiences... you're so forgiving, I know I can always talk to you and you'll be happy to see me... which is something really nice to cling to. ;w;

YES and I support you! I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you this last time you tried... I just glad you didn't succeed. I love you so much Vee you're one of my best friends. Hugs forever and ever. We'll live in a tree and ignore the rest of the world. ♥ Also I didn't see the dlc! Now I have to look at oj haha xD

haha yeah xD well you can always read stuff that happened in previous events in the archives. cause basically every event they introduce more lore or at least more about the npcs and show their personality and stuff. yeah im sorry i mentioned anything haha im just so excited ! but you will find out why pretty soon ;^^ yeah im crazy obsessed with my nation, Zenth and ive made a few zenth avatars. my favorite one won the nations avatar contest for zenth. but ive considered making avatars inspired by the other nations as well. yeah the coding can take a long time but its much better now that there are more people working on it. but they needed to write it from scratch so the beta site doesnt have all the problems that the current alpha site does.

yeah so i watch the artist/creator or dappervolk on twitch all the time. she streams wed, thurs, and saturday nights. and you earn a type of currency by watching her twitch called parsnips. you can use 1000 parsnips to join the 'quiscord' (cause her username is quislings). which is the best DV server. there is an 'official' dappervolk server that anybody can join without needing parsnips, but that one isnt as fun as quiscord xD but yeah im SUPER PUMPED for the site. they just had alpha testing and the beta site should be released in 4-5 months. the owner and all the other staff are really really awesome. i know its going to be a great site. caedon will always be my home but i will definitely spend time on dv. yeah i want signatures in everything hahaha. soo helpfullll

yeah thats what im saying haha. but i know some people think of those things as cons. yeah im pretty open to voice chat with people im not very close to. if theres like a purpose, like if we are playing a game or something. cause thats happened in the CAH server, people i barely talk to on caedon will join and im chill with that. or once i was on voice chat with ina and someone else (maybe imagii? or daemon? i cant remember) cause we were playing this mmo TERA. and we got a random person in our dungeon with us and we told him he could join our discord chat and he did and it was a lot of fun xD we got him to join caedon too but he didnt stick around lol. but if im going to voice chat with people just for the purpose of talking i dont often do that with people im not good friends with.

yeah i think its fun that anybody can add their input. and yeah i guess you can ignore people but id always feel rude if i do that xD like i notice in my charity there will often be pairs of people or groups of people talking to each other, but im talking to everyoneeee hahaa so my posts will have like 3-8 pings in them where most people are having 1-3. and ofc there is nothing wrong with that. yeah when i cant think of what to say im just like whats up what are you doing or the classic fallback, hows the weather where you are? xD

yeah anxiety and depression and bipolar and all fucking mental illnesses ARE REALLY DUMB !!!! SO DUMB !!! I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THIS !!! and thats good, kudos to you. i have infinite trouble fighting my anxiety - but most of mine is not related to social things. but like jobs and being an adult and things that overwhelm me and then my depression shows up and gives me negative motivation to deal with the anxiety and comes up with the sole solution of death to my problems. i always sound like a dick when i say this, but ive always had support systems, help, and love. so i cant.. imagine or know what its like to not have those things. in some ways it can make mental illness worse - i hurt everyone i love and i cant die because too many people love me and would be hurt. if nobody loved me i would have been gone a couple of years ago. but i dont want to live just so other people arent sad im gone. ugh. it complicates my feelings so much. but yeah totally share with me stuff on discord that is good. i know. and i can understand because i have suicidal friends too and id be soo sad if they were gone.. but also id understand it. i guess i cant say exactly how id feel because ive never had that actually happen. but id like to think id be respectful of their choice, but also quite sad they couldnt find the help they needed.

-is full of glitter for dayz- hahaa thanks dude. but i dont want to bite your head off. its a nice head. :p i really just need to learn to deal with it... because what it is, is my manic phase. when i was in college i had the good parts of mania. motivation, feeling like im on top of the world, i could do anything, i had to get all my work done and do more, i held two jobs at the college, i played intramural soccer, i created a club, was vice president of another, i always took more than 4 classes. i didnt realize it at the time but that was how i could deal with the depression part. i thought i had depression and i was just good at pumping myself up, that my parents taught me how to be good at school. but it was really bipolar and i went back and forth between mania and depression and it ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. then for a long time my mania was basically just a lesser depression - and that is why they didnt realize i had bipolar until much later. because that doesnt often happen but it can. and im pretty sure it was partially due to antidepressants. yeah i was heading downhill before i started taking them. but when i did get on them, that was the first time i actually tried to kill myself. so anyways, my theory is that now the antidepressants are out of my system and my brain is recovering from them, the mania is coming back and looking more like mania. but its not fun anymore xD its the bad kind hahaha. and im not used to it because im not used to anger. and i wonder if its because i smoked weed in college and that calmed me down so i didnt get the anger in my mania. but im not allowed to smoke anymore because they drug test me now because im on adderall - if i abuse another drug ill abuse adderall. not true but thats what they think lol. so yeah i just gotta... figure out how to deal with it. im quick to anger now and small things get me so mad and i dont like it !! but i dont know wwhat to dooo haha

so yeah i understand distancing when that happens. i dont want to hurt anyone. cause i HATE when people do that. i really dislike when others take out their anger on people who dont deserve it. i dont wanna be that person... but i cant control myself! its terrible. yeah i never mind sharing my experiences xD i start and then i just type for dayssss so im sorry about that LOL but yeah man forgiving people is really important! but like... theres nothing to forgive you for xD you didnt do anything wrong lol. i know how hard it is to deal with a mental illness, and its not your fault, ever. its them DURN BRAIN CHEMICALS !!! so its cool you take whatever time you need whenever and ill be here when you come back and yes i will be happy to see you ;^^

haha its okay. it was a terrible plan doomed to fail tho i didnt think that at the time xD and really i wouldnt have talked much to you anyways during that time. i always need a lot of alone time to recover from something like that. cause i was completely prepared to die and when i didnt it was like.... shit i didnt plan to be around still? what do??? i cant talk to friends for lots of reasons when something like that happens. first i just dont want to. i have to come to terms with the fact that im not dead im actually alive... and everything is overwhelming because of that. when people try to talk to me i dont want to answer because it seems meaningless, it feels like i still dont want to be around so i dont want to do anything, including talking to people. somehow talking isnt enough of a distraction. i played a loottt of games in that time. watched a lot of netflix. criminal minds for daysss. but yeah basically you dont need to be sorry for that because im weird and like to be alone when i am dealing with super depression things haha.

i love you so much too !!! and i have a ton of friends on cae im pretty sure i have the longest friends list xD but id never forget you and i was just hoping that youd make your way back at some point. i didnt want to push you so i tried not to bother you but i absolutely thought of you. were close in a special way and i figured we could just pick back up where we left off you are also one of my closest friends yeah i want to live in a tree and then become the tree

one time i was tripping with my best friend ariel and we had a lot of paint and we were painting my foot and up my leg and i was becoming a tree and it was so magical. xD and yeah i havent played in quite awhile actually because i dont like to play online with people i dont know anymore xD i used to all the time but now i mostly want to play with friends. also im really obsessed with this free game called Brawlhalla. i dont know if youd like it, its like a 4 people, everyone for themself game like super smash bros. but if you think you might you should check it out since it doesnt cost anything and its really fun to play with friends even if were not really on the same time. i play with ina a lot and basically we attack the other two people and only attack each other sometimes xD but we voice chat and its just fun. but thats cool if you dont think it would be your thing, we always have oj

I've been tempted to go back through the events for that tbh. xD I want to archive my convo with the one npc (who I forget the name of because that was a LONG time ago) and have some info readily available about my nation. Lol don't be sorry, it's something for me to look forward to! Lore always attracts the Loli. xD And I actually remember you winning that! It was a great avi... can't remember the details but I remember I liked it. Also yes, having to recode from scratch adds a heck of a lot of time onto the project, but I think it'll be worth it to be done so thoroughly. Everyone's patient anyways and the site is already amazing so. xD

Oh really?? I might have to watch her sometime then! :O I would love to join quiscord after all lol. And wow, I've obviously not been paying enough attention, because I didn't realize they were so far into it already! Another site to get excited about. xD And I hear you - Cae is def your home, everyone knows it. But fancy new sites must be experienced!!

I'm def more open to it if it's for something like a game. Like with oj, it doesn't even matter as long as I know someone else knows them. xD Friend of a friend = a-okay. And lol that's awesome, too bad he didn't stay though. It's always sad when someone leaves the site right away.

I feel the same way. xD I try really hard not to ignore people... which means sometimes my posts are SUPER long and respond to multiple at once because the people are talking while I'm trying to type out a response to everyone. xD Lol true, you can always say something. My default seems to be throwing glitter, which you are well aware of. xD

THEY ARE RIDICULOUS. GO AWAY MENTAL ILLNESS!! NOBODY LIKES YOU!!! >:I (... great now I feel terrible what if anxiety exists because people say that and it just feels bad and bullies others because it knows nothing else I'm thinking about this too hard why do I always do this ahhhhh) And thank you. It's taken me a long and painful time... but slow and steady, right?
Yeah, you seem great at social stuff as long as it's chill. And we've had this talk before, you know how I feel. I really wish I could do more to help you out... *sigh* but I'm here for you and you know I feel the same way. I would never blame anyone or be mad. Terrible sad because I would miss them, and I would have hoped they got help. But anger is useless in that situation, and I think it dishonors the memory of them? Like, being mad at someone who took their own life just seems incredibly mean to me. Sadness, loss, pain, yes. Anger? no.

That makes a lot of sense. Still, I'm here for you if need me. Mania is hard... I don't know a lot about bipolar but I know some. Hopefully your brain can figure itself out. *all the love and hugs*

That's not necessarily weird; Talking with people is hard when your brain doesn't want to.

You are honestly the only person I know who is friends with almost everyone. xD Like I could point out anyone on Cae and you would know them. And that's JUST Cae - you've been everywhere else too and always gain more and more friends! It's kind of surreal. xD But ahhhh thank you ; you're so good I love you. I'm so glad I met you. ♥
Huhu become one with the treeeee

How is Ariel btw? I see her log into steam sometimes but I haven't spoken to her in ages! Also that's pretty hilarious... must have been awesome becoming a tree lol. Sadly I've never gotten any good experiences from stuff like that. (boo)
Ooooo I see you playing that all the time (it pops up from steam) I didn't really know what to expect from it. But hey, if it's something I can play with you guys then why not? ;D It might have to wait though because I need my cuz to look at my laptop again... for some reason I can't open my start menu or any of my images saved to my comp. They and their previews are all there, they just... don't open. <_< So I don't want to download anything until that's fixed up. But yes! I shall play! ♥

Also I'm sorry this took so long to post! Dx I was trying to get this reply done between Cae replies.

yeah i couldnt remember if you were around for the world faire xD my memory is broken. and i dont even remember what month that event was in LOL yeah lore is reallly cooool. i like that its an important part of the site. and yeah i dont think any users mind that it will take awhile to get to beta !

yeah you should! https://www.twitch.tv/quislings ill message you on discord tomorrow when the stream starts to remind you. she says that she starts around 5 or 6 i think but sometimes its like 8 or 9 xD but she posts in the quiscord and the official dv when she is setting up the stream, so thats how i know what time she starts. yeah i just happened to be on the tumblr one day (i NEVER use tumblr anymore so idek why i was there) and it said she was doing a stream so i joined and then basically became part of another community xD it was awesome. and shes really cool, she normally replies vocally to people talking to her in the text chat on twitch. also sometimes shes done game plays and once she did a horror thing. and she wanted people on voice chat cause she was scared alone xD and so i was one of the few who went on voice chat and i basically got to be in her stream !! it was so neat. but yeah i want to be a part of dv because the community is really awesome, the staff is great and ive talked to all of them almost, and the art is MOTHAFUCKIN BREATHTAKING

yeah i feel that i am totally cool with friend of a friend situations. thats how ive ended up with some people. xD like in relationships. official and unofficial. my friend that i mentioned earlier that i hadnt seen in over a year, they were a friend of my ex cyan. and i ended up being snuggly and kissy with them lol. the guy i dated from Canada, i met him at a con because he was my friends friend from the internet lol. so voice chat im cool with that too xD yeah i didnt expect him to stay tho - he had never been a part of any avatar forum site before. it just kinda sucks cause i rarely play tera anymore so i dont talk to that guy at all anymore and he was p cool. also cute.

yeah i try not to ignore people too! the only time i might is because i stay in the thread and load the new posts at the bottom. and sometimes for some reason on caedon, posts will not show up that way. i think if they are the last or first post on a page i forget which. another piece of evidence that our coding is broken xD hey throwing glitter is a great default to have lol. who doesnt love glitter. and by that i mean hate (im kidding)

yeah nobody does like you mental illness... you are such an asshole. nobody wants you in their life. pls leave now. i dont think anxiety is conscious and decides to bully people because it gets bullied. i think its more like... have you seen wreck it ralph? i think cybugs are kind of like mental illness. i cant find the freaking quote ill have to get the movie from the flash drive and find it myself. but calhoun says something like, it doesnt know its in a game, it just knows to destroy things or something. //bad at words

but it is time for da halo 3 so i will peace out for now

edit 1: it is bedtime now it came before i knew it so i am sorry i cant finish this tonight xD

I have no idea what month the event was either. o-o My memory is horrible so lol we can forget stuff together. ♥ Also yes, not many avi sites are really all about lore... it can exist but it's kind of background. I love that Caedon is all about the lore being an integral part of the site and it's features/items/etc.

Ahhhh thank you! *takes link and hoardes it* That's so cool lol. She sounds awesome, I can't wait to see. The art really is amazing, I can't believe how unique the style is! Makes me very exited for the site!

Hehe you attract so many people. xD I wish I had your charisma tbh. And yeah if people haven't been part of avi sites they usually don't care about them too much. Too bad you don't talk to him though.

I didn't know that, I was wondering why people sometimes don't show up. I learned something new today! ♥ Also EVERYONE LOVES GLITTER! *is a glitter monster*

I've never seen that movie, even though I've wanted to since it came out. D; I should do that soon. But wow that seems really appropriate. And I can't word either, which is pretty bad considering I'm and author. xD

And np, that's a lot of text to respond too. xD Hope Halo was fun. ♥

-hangs out in the library-

So where is everyone from? Are there any good books in here to read?

SO ITS BEEN A HOT MINUTE WOW

im totally gonna reply to this at some point soon :v

So Vee where are you from?

Vee is from the states and I'm from Canada! What about you, Keoke?

I have been SO BAD about posting here omg. I need to actually log onto Origins more than once a month omg.

I'm from Canada, It's weird because I also have a friend who goes by Vee who prefers them and they pronouns from Canada

oh wow lol that would be super confusing! xD That's cool you're Canadian though! I'm starting to see more of us on the sites I frequent but I remember a time when I never came across Canadians on forums. It was super lonely! xD

I use too then I gave up and now I'm back, I think we started coming out more as america started devolving >.>